


Orbit

by poiregourmande



Category: Buzzfeed Unsolved (Web Series), Buzzfeed: Worth It (Web Series)
Genre: M/M, Mostly Fluff, Multi, Polyamory, Polyamory Negotiations, Relationship Mix & Match
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-16
Updated: 2018-08-16
Packaged: 2019-06-28 11:06:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 5,451
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15705993
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/poiregourmande/pseuds/poiregourmande
Summary: Shane and Andrew aren’t meant to be anything more than a fuzzy tumble – two broken hearts looking to make one whole for a night. Solace.Steven is really pretty. And nice. And he makes Ryan feel good.Andrew gets it. And maybe he feels it too, now. Ryan’s irresistible pull.Shane Madej has always been a little obsessed with Steven Lim’s smile.





	1. Solace

**Author's Note:**

> The first four chapter were posted as drabbles in my Buzzfeed Drabbles collection. Chapter 5 is new. I'm reposting the others so that the story is all in one place.

The office is dark, lit only by Andrew’s desk light. Once again, he’s the only one left, working late on a video. It’s the only thing that allows his ever-thinking brain to stop.

He opens a drawer and pulls out a three-quarters empty bottle of cheap whiskey he keeps there for nights just like this one.

Heaving a sigh, he unscrews the bottle and takes a long sip.

The liquor burns down his throat almost as much as the pain, the unspoken name he keeps hidden.

He’s startled by the sound of a door closing behind him and turns to see Shane coming out of a conference room.

“Sorry,” Shane says when he sees Andrew jump. “Thought I was alone.”

Andrew shrugs. “Lot of work to do.”

Shane eyes the bottle in Andrew’s hand. “And no desire to go home, let me guess?”

Andrew takes another swig in answer. Shane takes place next to him – in Steven’s chair, and Andrew’s heart squeezes.

“Hey, I get it. Why do you think I’m still here?”

Andrew offers him the almost empty bottle – a lousy attempt at finding company, but this is all he got.

Shane accepts with a nod and takes the last drink from it.

“I didn’t mean to drain your stash, man.” He winces, shaking the bottle to confirm nothing’s left. “Let me buy you a drink, make it up to you.”

Andrew shrugs. “Sure.” It’s not like he has anything else to do.

***

In a u-shaped booth in the back of a dark-lit bar of Shane’s choosing, the atmosphere is pretty awkward for the first two drinks.

They’ve never much hung out just the two of them, and it’s obvious neither of them really feels like talking.

After the third scotch on the rocks, however, their brains are looser, their hearts lighter and their conversation, if not deep, is at least easier.

Andrew feels like they’re both skirting around an issue, the same issue for both of them : both their hearts belong to someone who doesn’t know, who’d never want it.

This is the reason they work late, the reason they drink. The reason Shane’s gaze reflect the ache in Andrew’s when he thinks nobody’s watching.

Four drinks and the bar seems warmer, Andrew’s arms heavier, and is it just his imagination or is Shane sitting way closer to him? The scotch is a warm tingle down Andrew’s chest; Shane’s leg is a warm tingle down Andrew’s leg.

Shane’s lips glisten from the drink, even in the dim light; his throat bobs with each swallow and Andrew feels warm, so warm.

“We can’t put our lives on pause forever for them,” Shane says, and he’s so close his voice is warm on Andrew’s lips, warm like the scotch. “We gotta live a little, right?” Shane continues and he might have found whatever glimmer of agreement he was searching for in Andrew’s eyes because in a flash one hand is splayed across Andrew’s thigh, the other cupping his neck, and two scotch-soaked tongues meet, strange but familiar at the same time.

Andrew feels fuzzy but somehow it fits. Shane and him aren’t meant to be anything more than a fuzzy tumble – two broken hearts looking to make one whole for a night. Solace.


	2. Eclipse

It’s always been an issue of self-preservation. Ryan knew he couldn’t make a move on Shane. Shane was straight, Shane would reject him. It would take a toll on their friendship, on their work relationship. Everything Ryan worked so hard to achieve would crumble in an instant, in an ill-advised one-sided kiss.

So Ryan puts up walls, puts up this façade of straightest dude alive, pushes the banter with Shane to an almost mean level, until he almost believes it himself.  
Until that role of the straight bro takes up all the room, until there’s nowhere for Ryan’s actual personality to go.

And then one morning there’s a shift in Shane. He walks in with a smile on his lips, instead of his usual exhaustion. He spends the entire day checking his phone with a dopey smile.

A punch in Ryan’s gut. He hadn’t realized until then how Shane’s singleness comforted him. He knew Shane could never give him what he wanted, but the knowledge that he was the most important person in Shane’s life was enough.  
Until now.

Is Shane seeing someone? Sure looks like it.

Ryan needs something, anything to distract him. A walk, some air, a coffee, something stronger, anything. Anything other than endlessly staring at a Shane who’d never notice him.

His feet bring him to the break room, where Steven waits for the coffee machine, a look in his face that mirrors the ache in Ryan’s heart.

“Sup, Steven,” he says, without much conviction.

“Hey, Ryan,” Steven answers in the exact same tone.

Adam walks in with an appreciative whistle.

“Watch out, boys, you might wanna dial down the joy there, or you’ll pull a muscle.”

This manages to pull a chuckle from both Ryan and Steven, and maybe that’s exactly what Ryan needs: a distraction.

He waits until Adam filled his water bottle and walked out before turning to Steven.

“Any plans for tonight?”

Steven shrugs. “Falling asleep in front of Netflix, I guess.”

“D’you wanna hang out, maybe?”

“Sure beats being alone,” Steven answers, with a half smile.

“Chipotle and b-ball? There’s a court near my place.”

“I’m in.”

 

Ryan finds himself really looking forward to this, the first thing that managed to take his mind off Shane in weeks.

He spends the last hour of work nervously looking at his watch, shooting glances at Steven between his and Shane’s computer screens.

At five on the dot, Steven takes off his headphones and stands up, and Ryan’s legs follow instinctively.

He misses the puzzled look Andrew and Shane share, and if he saw it he wouldn’t have been able to make sense of it.

 

They do a bit of small talk in the car and at the restaurant – sports, movies, some work projects, but Ryan can tell they’re skirting around the unsaid.

They’re both here for a lack of something better to do – they are friends, but not that kind of one-on-one friends. They’re both here to numb the pain.

And really, there’s only so much burritos can do to help with that.

It’s better when they get on the court. Ryan can cope with anything as long as there’s concrete under his sneakers and a ball in his hands.

They play one-on-one, and it feels like with every dribble of the ball, every exhale, ever bead of sweat rolling down his forehead, his heart hurts a little less.

The sun has set for a while when they decide to take a break, sitting idly on the swings near the court.

Crickets sing in the distance. A warm summer breeze plays along with Steven’s hair. Under the moonlight, his sweat-slicked skin glows, almost ethereal, and Ryan half wants to reach out and touch him, make sure he’s not a spirit.

“You know that feeling, when you’ve spent so long convincing yourself something was impossible that it never even occurred to you to just try?” Steven says, swinging from side to side, almost bumping into Ryan’s swing.

Ryan leans his head on the chain, revelling in the childhood scent of rusted metal. He knew the feeling all too well.

“And then someone swoops in and does it?” Ryan answers, and he feels like he’s this close to solving it – only one puzzle piece missing.

Steven nods and their eyes meet, and at once, the smoke clears and Ryan understands two things.

_Shane and Andrew are together._

_Steven is really pretty. And nice. And he makes Ryan feel good._

And maybe that’s all that matters. Maybe he should stop waiting for the impossible – ghosts, aliens, Shane’s love.

He stands up, pulls Steven in by the chains of his swing, and, for once, takes a shot in the dark.

“Can I kiss you?”  
Steven’s smile eclipses the moon and stars as he fists a hand through Ryan’s jersey.

“Yeah, okay.”


	3. Dawn

Andrew didn’t expect waking up next to Shane Madej to become a common occurrence, and then something he looked forward to, but one day he wakes up and realizes he’s in a relationship with Shane. 

It’s funny, really – or maybe just bittersweet? This started out as a distraction. A drunken tumble to forget the fact that they were both hopelessly in love with someone else.

Steven and Ryan.

But they woke up the next morning, and instead of the expected dread and fumbling to run away from the mistake, they both just smiled and pulled each other in closer.

It wasn’t what they’d wanted but it was what they’d needed.

Days passed and it felt right, it felt cozy, and most of all it felt incredibly better than the numb torture Andrew had been subjected to every day for months, when he saw Steven.

Before he knows it, Shane becomes the reason for Andrew’s smiles, the reason he wakes up in the morning. His boyfriend.

They don’t talk about Ryan and Steven again, but it’s still somehow in the back of Andrew’s head.

It pops whenever Shane and Ryan are working on something at their desks, and their old complicity shows in every move, in ever laugh, in every playful punch of Ryan on Shane’s shoulder when he makes a terrible joke.

And Andrew stops and watch.

Ryan Bergara.

The man his boyfriend used to be in love with.

_Still_ is in love with?

Andrew doesn’t know.

They don’t talk about it.

Maybe they should.

Andrew wants to see what Shane sees in Ryan. He wants to understand.

Because Steven seems to be hanging around Ryan a lot these days, and maybe Shane and Steven both see something in Ryan that Andrew’s never seen.

So Andrew watches, day after day. It’s not an obsession, he tells himself, it’s research.

He collects information – snippets of Ryan’s days he plays back to himself afterwards. And then he sees it.

Smiles and laughs and dedication. A boyish need to believe that almost borders on naivety but is oh so endearing.

A body that can only be described as hot as hell.

Andrew gets it. And maybe he feels it too, now. Ryan’s irresistible pull.

He keeps his mouth shut. He doesn’t think Ryan notices.

 

Until one night when he’s working late. The office is empty, lit only by Andrew’s desk lamp.

There’s no bottle of whiskey in his desk drawer. He never replaced the one Shane emptied. He didn’t need to.

Nevertheless, the déjà vu feels eerie when he hears footsteps behind him.

Ryan coming out of Ghouls HQ. And dropping into Steven’s chair.

Just like Shane did three months ago.

And look where it led.

“What’s up, Andrew?”

Andrew shrugs, nods at his screen. “Work.”

“I meant,” and Ryan rolls closer in the chair, “What’s up with us?”

“Us?”

There’s no _us_. There can’t be an _us_.

Andrew and Ryan are nothing more that coworkers, friends, who, by some weird twist of fate, both fuck the person the other wanted.

That’s all.

“I’ve seen you staring, Andrew.”

Fuck.

Before he can realize what he’s doing, he’s rolled his chair closer to Ryan, leaning in his seat.

Their knees are bumping, he can feel Ryan’s breath on his lips, and a battle is taking place in Andrew’s mind.

_Shane never said they were exclusive._

_Exclusive or not, that’s the man he’s in love with, you dickhead!_

His eyes snap back open – he hadn’t even realized he’d closed them.

Ryan seems to be having the same inner turmoil, eyes widening with a gasp.

“We can’t.”

“Jesus, what’s wrong with us?” Ryan rolls away, gets up to pace, hands raking through his hair.

Andrew hates that he notices how Ryan’s arms bulge in this tight t-shirt.

He hates that that’s what his brain chooses to focus on.

He hates that all he wants is for Ryan to come back in his seat and pick up where they left off.

He hates what he’s about to say, even though it might be the most sensible thought he’s had through this whole ordeal.

“Maybe we should talk. The four of us.”

“And say what?” Ryan looks like he’s about to lose it, and Andrew hates that he knows what to do because of all the time he’s spent with Steven. “Sorry Steven, I almost made out with the man you’re in love with?”

Everything Andrew was about to do to help Ryan out of his anxiety spiral flies out of his head.

_Steven – Steven’s in love with Andrew?_

How the fuck did his life get so twisted?

He leans back in his chair, shaking with uncontrollable, silent laughter – the kind that brings actual tears to his eyes.

Ryan stops pacing, looking so insulted Andrew laughs even harder.

“Care to explain what’s so hilarious in this situation?”

It takes Andrew a minute to reign in his laughter, and even then there’s no erasing the grin on his face as he explains.

“I’ve been in love with Steven for years. Shane’s in love with you, and if I’m not mistaken, the feeling’s mutual? I think, if we just talk to our boyfriends, for once, we might end up having a lot of fun.”

Ryan couldn’t look more mind-blown unless his head actually exploded in the middle of the office.

“Shane - wait, really?”

Andrew nods. “Apparently the four of us should really learn to talk about our feelings.”

“Yeah, no kidding.”

Andrew stands up and bridges the space between them, cupping Ryan’s face softly. “Think it counts as cheating if we’re on the verge of a potential foursome?”


	4. Stellar

Shane Madej has always been a little obsessed with Steven Lim’s smile.

You see, the thing is – Steven is a dichotomy. He has two entirely different personas depending on who’s around him. With strangers, he’s shy, closed off, taking as little space as possible.

With his close friends he’s dorky, hyper and really affectionate, and his smile – well, his smile could probably power the whole city. When he smiles, stars spark through his dark eyes and you can’t help smiling along with him.

The problem is that when it comes to Shane, Steven never seems able to make up his mind about which persona he should adopt.

Sometimes he’s closed-off, aloof, and Shane would do anything to see that bright smile again.

Other times he’s friendly and affectionate and Shane damn near melts inside because he genuinely can’t tell what he did to get Steven to smile at him.

Today, Steven’s shy. Barely looks up when Shane drops down on the hood of his car beside him.

They’re in the office parking lot after a long day, and Shane assumes Steven’s waiting for Ryan – he heard him saying he’d be working late tonight, something about new developments in a case he had to research.

Shane himself is waiting for Andrew, but he might just go get some food and come back to surprise him. Or at least that was his plan before he saw Steven sitting on the hood of his car, scrolling through his phone.

Maybe it’s this weird situation they’ve gotten themselves in – where they both ended up with the person the other wanted – but Shane really wants to figure Steven out.

“Hey, Steven?”

“Hm?”

“Can I ask you a question?”

Steven slides his phone in the pocket of his jacket, sits up a bit straighter, looking puzzled.

“Do you feel comfortable around me?”

Steven almost falls off the car. “Um, what?”

“You know, sometimes you’re really friendly, and sometimes… not so much.”

Steven turns bright red. “Maybe – maybe I’m a bit intimidated by you so I don’t know how to act around you?”

“Intimidated. By me?”

Steven scoffs. “Um, of course. Come on, you’re Shane Madej! You’re gorgeous, and cool – everyone likes you, and you don’t give a damn about what people think of you!”

Shane’s eyes widen. He can’t believe Steven sees him like that – he’s not cool, he’s a dork, he gets stuck in his own damn head, he obsesses over whether his coworker smiles or doesn’t smile at him… hold on, did Steven call him gorgeous?

But Steven’s not finished. He looks in the distance, and softly – maybe Shane wasn’t even supposed to hear him – he adds: “You’ve got Andrew.”

Shane turns to look at him. “You’ve got Ryan.”

Steven looks down at his hands, wringing his fingers together. “It’s pretty messed up, huh?”

“Doesn’t have to be.”

“What do you mean?”

“ I like you, Steven. Like, _a lot_. Of course, we’d have to talk to our boys, but I wouldn’t mind…” Shane rakes a hand through his hair, wondering how the hell he can say this without scaring Steven away. “I wouldn’t mind sharing.”

Steven’s eyes are almost bulging out of his head.

“Are you talking about…?” Steven can’t say it.

“All four of us dating? Yeah, maybe. At the very least I think it’s about time we stop pining in secret and start talking about it.”

Steven looks pensive for a while but then he nods and looks up at Shane.

The smile is back. Stars in his eyes that feel like they’re meant for Shane and Shane only.

He leans in and a presses a chaste kiss to Shane’s cheek.

“Yeah, I’d like that.”


	5. Sunshine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter picks up exactly at the end of chapter 3 - Dawn

“Better not,” Ryan says with an apologetic smile. 

And yeah, he’s right. Andrew’s glad one of them at least can still think rationally – they got something potentially great here, and Andrew would hate for it to end before it even began because of a misguided kiss. 

Ryan takes Andrew’s hand from where it’s cupping his cheek, gives it a squeeze. 

“Come on.”

Andrew saves his work and turns off his computer before gathering his things and following Ryan out of the office. His phone buzzes with a text from Shane.  _ Parking lot _ , it reads, with a kiss emoji. 

Looks like this talk might happen sooner than he’d expected. Which isn’t a bad thing, considering the way every hair of his body stands on end just from being close to Ryan, how each of his nerve endings is finely attuned to his presence. 

They reach the parking lot – Andrew’s hands shaking with nerves and anticipation – but Shane isn’t alone. 

He’s with Steven, chilling on the hood of Steven’s car – maybe sitting a little bit closer together than is strictly necessary? Oh, man, Andrew’s poor heart can’t take this. His boyfriend. The guy he’s been crushing on for years. The guy his boyfriend is in love with. 

All together in the same place? All – judging by the look Steven and Shane share – with the same idea on their mind? Either Andrew has earned some very good karma in the past, or something’s about to go terribly wrong. 

But Shane hops off the car, strides over to Andrew, bends for a chaste kiss – chaste, but shivers-inducing, because Andrew can’t shake the feeling of Ryan and Steven’s eyes on them. It’s both terrifying and incredibly arousing. 

Shane slings a long arm around Andrew’s shoulders and turns to the others. Ryan and Steven share a quick peck and Shane waits for them to break away before speaking. 

“So.”

 

***

 

In the car, Andrew’s having a serious case of the bouncy leg. It always happens when he’s nervous and Shane’s used to it by now. He just has to set a soothing hand on Andrew’s knee, rub circles with his thumb, and talk about anything else, to keep Andrew’s mind off things. 

Unfortunately, right now, Shane’s just as stressed out so he can’t really do anything about it. His hands grip the steering wheel until his knuckles turn white, as if battling with himself between turning back and driving on. 

They talked with Steven and Ryan last night; the four of them agreed to spend the day together and see where things would go. Four-way dating sounded kinda crazy on paper, but they thought actually trying it, for one day, would give them a better idea of whether or not it’s something they want.    


So Shane and Andrew are driving to the beach, stressed out as hell, picnic in the trunk. They offered to bring lunch because, as Shane put it, “if we leave it to you two, we’re gonna end up with gold-leaf burritos.” Steven had started to protest, but Ryan shushed him with a kiss and proposed to bring dessert. Shane had generously let them. 

“What if it doesn’t work out?” Andrew asks, voice trembling. 

Now, this is pretty much what’s been going through Shane’s mind on a loop for the past ten minutes, but somehow, when someone else – Andrew – is distressed, Shane’s able to shut up all his fears, all his anxieties, get out of his head, and be the voice of reason.

“Then nothing changes. You and I are still together, and Ryan and Steven are still our best friends.”

“What if – what if you realize you just want Ryan? What if I was just – just some consolation prize?”

Shane stops on the side of the road. This isn’t a safe-for-driving kind of conversation. 

“Andrew.” 

Andrew is looking resolutely out the side window. Shane turns to him in his seat, squeezes his shoulder. 

“Babe, look at me.”

Andrew gives a little shrug but turns to Shane. Shane takes his hand. 

“Am  _ I _ a consolation prize for you? Are you with me just because you can’t be with Steven?”

“No, of course not! I love you so much,” Andrew says, voice a bit hoarse. 

Shane gives a little half-smile. “Yeah? And you know I love you?”

“Yeah, but – ” Andrew nods, cracking a smile. “Yeah okay, point taken.”

Shane brings Andrew’s hand to his lips, kissing his knuckles. “Look, I know it’s scary. I don’t know what’s gonna happen either. But I know no matter what, this time tomorrow, you and I will still be together, still in love.”

“Promise?” Andrew asks, and it’s probably the smallest, shyest Shane has ever heard him sound. 

“Promise.”

***

 

Things can never stay awkward too long with Ryan and Steven. They meet up and claim a secluded spot on the beach, and the tension between the four of them is heavy and thick. They’re all sitting on their blanket, fiddling with the picnic basket or their bags, wondering how the hell you’re supposed to start something like that. 

But then Ryan pulls a football out of his bag, and he and Steven bicker for a minute, but then Steven is “going long” and they’re trash talking each other across the beach. 

“Can you believe these two got together?” Andrew asks, unable to tear his gaze away from Steven – Steven in swimming trunks and a tank top, showing off his delicious shoulders when throwing the ball. 

“Because of the bickering?” Shane asks, and Andrew nods. “I don’t think Ryan can be with someone and not bicker. It – it gets him going,” Shane continues, turning red and looking away from Andrew. 

It’s still a bit new, a bit strange, to talk to his boyfriend about how he notices everything that makes Ryan’s tick. It’s all in the open now, but that doesn’t mean it feels normal. 

Shane doesn’t know what to expect today. Should he make a move? Will one of the others do it? Right now it feels more like a double date than anything else, with Andrew and he chilling under the shade of the umbrella and Ryan and Steven playing catch. 

Seized by the need to do something, anything, to make things  _ happen _ , Shane sheds his Hawaiian shirt, leaving only his bright blue swim trunks, and jolts past Steven and Ryan into the ocean. Ryan freezes, ball in hand, watching him tiptoe his way through the cool waves. 

“Ry?” Steven calls, when Ryan doesn’t throw the ball back. 

“You know, I think I’m gonna go for a swim, babe,” Ryan says, leaving the ball and his basketball jersey under the umbrella, before dashing to join Shane. 

Steven drops down next to Andrew, and for a while, they just watch their boyfriends playfighting in the waves. Ryan tries to dunk Shane under the water, but didn’t realize Shane was still standing, whereas Ryan hasn’t been able to touch the bottom for a while already. Shane just stands steadfast in the sand, bracing himself, letting Ryan tries again and again to make him lose his footing. 

Ryan is trying hard to kick Shane’s legs out from underneath him, to no avail, and doesn’t realize how close they’re standing to each other, how their legs are basically tangled together, until Shane wraps his arms around him. 

Ryan stops fighting at once. Slowly, almost like in slow motion, he looks up at Shane. 

“Hi,” Shane says, gently amused. 

Ryan has to suppress a nervous fit of giggles. “Hi,” he breathes out. 

“Is this okay?” Shane asks, squeezing his waist. 

Ryan wants so badly to look back at Steven, at Andrew, to see how they react, if they’re okay with it, but they talked it over already. He knows that’s why they’re here. Regardless, he feels like he’s doing something forbidden as he nods and wraps his arms around Shane’s neck. 

“It’s strange, a bit, don’t you think it’s strange?” His voice is high-pitched, he’s on the verge of wheezing. 

Shane’s eyes are scrunched up against the sun but still regard him softly. “Say the word and I’ll stop.”

“No! No, jesus, no. It’s just – I’ve denied myself this for so long, it’s gonna take a little getting used to.”

“Does this help?” Shane whispers, and leans down, and suddenly his mouth is right by Ryan’s and he’s waiting. 

“I think so,” Ryan says, cause his whirly thoughts slowed down quite a bit when Shane approached and he doesn’t feel as nervous as before. He takes a deep breath and nods for Shane to go ahead. 

Kissing Shane is every bit as incredible as he hoped it would be. Shane is forward but gentle, and Ryan can feel himself melt under his attention. He realizes at this point, with painful awkwardness that his legs are still tangled into Shane’s. In a few moments, if things continue down that road, Shane will be very aware of Things Happening in Ryan’s trunks. 

He quickly disentangles himself, breaks the kiss and pushes away from Shane. 

“Ryan? Is everything okay?” Shane’s worried looks is breaking Ryan’s heart. 

“Oh yeah of course, I just – need a breather,” he says, and blushes as he vaguely gestures at his crotch. 

Shane’s eyes shine with amusement. “Is that so?”

“Shut up, Shane.”

Ryan lets himself focus on the way the waves crash against him, on keeping himself afloat, and soon he’s calmed down, and so has the situation in his shorts. He swims back to Shane and takes his hand. 

“Wanna go see what the boys are up to?”

 

***

 

Andrew’s hands are shaking. Steven is sitting next to him – and actually,  _ next  _ is a bit generous since Steven is almost sitting on top of him – no longer looking at the boys, but instead staring at Andrew. 

“What?” Andrew asks, a bit lamely. 

“Nothing,” Steven says, but he’s grinning. 

“You keep staring at me.”

“Because I can now.”

Andrew smiles but says nothing. 

“You’re cute,” Steven says, and boops his nose. 

“Don’t tell me you just noticed this now?”

“No, but now I’m allowed to tell you.”

“C’m’ere,” Andrew says, like there was any  _ here _ left to go with the way Steven is leaning halfway into Andrew’s lap. 

_ Steven wants this _ , Andrew keeps telling himself.  _ It’s okay. It’s allowed.  _

He fists a hand through Steven’s tank top and plants a desperate kiss on his mouth. Steven hums into the kiss and pushes at Andrew’s shoulders until they’re lying side by side on the blanket, fingers tangled together, sharing warm kisses. 

_ Wow. _

Andrew’s making out with Steven Lim, at last, and it’s mindblowing how good it is. It’s even better than he’d imagined – and he imagined it  _ a lot _ . 

It’s a good thing Shane and Ryan come back at this moment, cause judging by the way Steven’s leg just slotted itself between Andrew’s thighs, and the current situation in Andrew’s shorts, they were maybe two minutes away from dry humping on the beach. 

Ryan drops down next to them and digs through his cooler for a popsicle. Steven startles and goes stiff in Andrew’s arms, but doesn’t break away. 

“Popsicle, babe?” Ryan offers, like seeing Andrew making out with his boyfriend was nothing out of the ordinary. 

“Sure,” Steven and Shane answer at the same time. 

Steven sits up quickly and looks from Shane to Ryan, eyes wide and uncertain. 

Ryan grins like, admittedly, a little shit. “Actually I meant Andrew.”

_ Oh _ . 

“Popsicles for everyone, then?” Ryan passes them around. 

When he takes his, Andrew pulls him in by the wrist. “Thanks. Babe.” 

Ryan kisses his cheek and Andrew can actually feel his face turn a deep pink. Which. Seriously? Andrew was almost dry humping three minutes ago and he gets all shy for a kiss on the cheek? It kinda feels great, if Andrew’s being honest. He and Shane, aided by alcohol and escapism, has jumped straight to the sex and missed on the early relationship romance. Not that what developed afterwards wasn’t incredible – love, trust, a stronger bond than he’d ever expected to have with Shane – but this? Is pretty sweet. 

Ryan beams – that sunshine smile you can’t help but hope to see over and over again – and tangles their fingers together. 

“I like you, Andrew,” Ryan says. “I like this.” He motions at the four of them.

Andrew looks up to see Steven eating his popsicle in a way that should be illegal while Shane looks on entirely unsubtly above his sunglasses. Andrew wonders if Ryan and Steven chose explicitly phallic snacks innocently or with intent. 

His fingers tighten around Ryan’s. His breath catches in his throat. His own popsicle’s melting all over his hand. He should probably do something about that.

He finishes his popsicle in three bites – Ryan hisses when he sees him bite into it, but Andrew isn’t about to subject them to the same kind of show Steven’s putting on – Andrew’s brand of seduction has always been more subtle. 

Steven’s tantalizing effect is short-lived, however, when he clutches at his forehead and clenches his eyes shut. “Ow, ow, brain freeze!” 

“Drink this,” Shane offers. “It’ll help.” The water bottle has been sitting in the sun for a while and might not be as cool as it was. 

Steven drinks, while Shane rubs soothing circles on his back and finishes both their popsicles before they melt. Steven stops rubbing at his forehead and looks at Shane fondly. 

“Wow, thanks.”

“Sure, sweets.” Shane pulls him in and kisses his temple softly. 

Well, shit. 

Few things in his life have filled Andrew with as much tender bliss as seeing Shane, his boyfriend, caring sweetly for Steven, the man Andrew’s been in love with for years. At first it feels weird. Like that’s not the emotion he should be feeling – like maybe he should feel jealous? 

But then he remembers a conversation he had with Adam, where he talked about his poly relationship with Devin, and he mentioned compersion. At first, Andrew wasn’t sure he understood but now? Now Andrew’s almost certain this is what he’s experiencing. 

It feels incredible. 

He beams and Ryan catches his eye, bumps their shoulders together. “What’s up?”

Andrew shrugs, but the smile doesn’t leave his face. “I’m happy, I think.”

Ryan ruffles Andrew’s hair and lets his hand rest at the base of his neck. “Yeah, I wouldn’t mind this becoming a thing.” 

“What, the four of us?”

“Mhm.”

Shane’s eyes are shining from where they peak above Steven’s hair – he’s still kissing all over the side of Steven’s face. “I could get used to this.”

“Yes please,” Steven says, low and deep in the back of his throat, like it gets whenever Steven’s really comfortable, on the verge of falling asleep. Andrew’s heard this voice a lot on planes and trains and various shoots, and it always sent his heart reeling. 

Today is no exception but he’s allowed to do something about it now. 

“Yeah, okay,” Andrew says, and he lies down, head pillowed on Steven’s lap. 

He pats his own stomach for Ryan to get comfortable. Ryan rests his head on him and tangles their fingers together. Steven starts playing with Andrew’s hair absent-mindedly and Andrew can hear Shane humming a song he doesn’t know. 

He drifts off to sleep, surrounded with love, happy they finally figured it out. 

It was meant to be, really. 

  
  



End file.
